Its a Long Story

Why is it me
What have I done
The lonely outcast,
That's who I have become
Sometimes I think it's better
Then I can't get hurt
But then I think about it
And the pain gets worse and worse
Not one friend at school
Nor out
In myself, I have so much doubt
Why am I so different
Am I really that insane
Or do you just find pleasure
In making me go through pain
I used to think I had a friend
But she's got friends of her own
Now there's no one
To help guide me home
But maybe home is not the place to be
I have scars from that place
But I won't let anyone see
Right now, I know I'm alone
Online friends just aren't the same
And to think that their the only friends I have,
That turns my last bit of pride, into full blown shame
Last year, I had one last person
But she's got other followers this year
And now my myself and my actions,
I fear
Maybe if I pretend
Wear a skirt for a day or two
Maybe they'll give me compliments
To make up for all the torture they've put me through
But I'm gonna be me
I already lie enough
And so far,
My life has been awfully rough
So, it's simple and plain,
I'm gonna try once more
I'm gonna tighten the noose
And walk through Hell's door
No one will miss me
Not my mom
Not my dad
Nor any classmates
Not one will even be sad