I'm Ahead

Popping pills in the morning,
Popping pills at night.
Cutting deep into my skin,
holding my blade tight.
Dressed up to look my best,
When I actually looked my worst.
I thought all this alcohol
would refresh my troublesome thirst.
I wanted kids when I was older,
I wanted good news to tell.
But Who Tells their children,
that they wanted to go to hell?
I had a lot of problems.
sexually abused and bashed.
Both my arms, wrists, and legs,
Had been both bruised and gashed.
I thought of myself,
As a strong Girl.
I wasn't strong at all..
This is what made my toes curl.
I had decided to stop,
And get my life on track.
Because I realized the life I wasted
I was never getting back.
So I stopped the hurting,
For once it was pretty easy.
I stopped looking like an easy target,
and I stopped dressing sleazy.
I'm a better person now.
And I'm turning 16.
I cant believe how young I was,
and how I was so keen.
All the drugs and the alcohol,
the cutting and pain.
Have all disappeared,
now I'm one step ahead in this game.