A Lonely Broken Heart

There's no way to hide it, darling.
I can see you within.
Deep down, you're broken inside.
Hiding many secrets from the world.
You aren't what you once where.
Not the girl I used to know.
That fake smile; it doesn't prove a thing.
You changed into something new.
A clone, a poser, it's what you are.
Trying to fit in with what you aren't.
Truthfully, I'm happy your group left you behind.
Perhaps it will teach you a lesson.
You have nothing now, you see, they never treated you right.
They never cared.
I always was aware.
I tried to warn you numerous times.
You didn't listen to my words.
You chose them over me.
Popularity over one who would give you more love and warmth than anyone ever could.
You're attempting to come crawling back to me, you seek my attention, or do you?
Maybe you're just lonely, left behind.
You lack friendship.
You know you have no best friend.
You have many people in your life, yet you feel so alone.
You feel dead inside.
Broken, sorry, lonely.
You have no one to share your deepest, darkest secrets with.
You keep it in.
You try to be apart of the popularity.
You try to believe you're the best thing that ever walked the earth.
Deep down, you know you aren't.
You long for a best friend.
I could've been that.
Yet you betrayed me, and gave me up for everything else.
Other people, far more better than I could ever be.
One thing they couldn't beat me in; love.
I could've given you so much more.
You threw that oppurtunity away.
One day, you'll regret it. You'll regret every second of it.
Maybe today is that day.

Remember

I'm looking back on my childhood,
Back at my blurred memories
And I focus on one in particular,
One that is slowly starting to cease:
I am four, maybe five,
And I am waking from my sleep.
I slowly crawl out of my bed
And try not to make a peep.
As I tip toe down the hallway
And pass by His lair,
I hear Him say,
"Come snuggle with me,"
To my dreadful despair.
Trying to talk my way out of it,
I say, "But I don't want to,"
But by the look on His face,
I know I'm gonna have to.
So I shuffle to His bed
And crawl disgustedly under the covers.
As He binds me tight
With His strong, imprisoning arms,
His booze-hinted breath
Reminds me
To let my consciousness hover
For my 5 year old self
Knows what comes next
But my 14 year old self
Only knows the effects:
My heart has been hardened
With frozen distrust
And my body flinches
Every time it is touched.
I try hard to remember
What happened that morning
But something keeps blocking me
And it feels like a warning.
Though I have nothing to be warned about
For He is no longer in my life
So I wonder why remembering
Is such a strife.
I want to press onward
In my probing of my memory
But I am too tired from the effort
So maybe it'll all come back to me.
Maybe, just maybe.

Someone Who Cares

It’s so terrible

Everyone’s against you

You need a miracle

Or else you’ll never make it through

It’s so horrible

Why do I let you stay?

Maybe I’m your miracle

Or maybe you should go away

//You’re always feeling sorry for yourself

I try to talk to you but it never helps

There’s always something to complain about

Why do I hang around?

I’ve got better things to do

Than sit around and listen to you

Complain about how life’s not fair

Save it for someone who cares//

It’s so confusing

You can’t make up your mind

It’s constantly changing

You never decide

It’s so amusing

You think no one’s got it worse than you

But maybe did you think

You should try looking from a different view

//Chorus//

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

You’ve got nothing worse than anyone else

//Chorus//